


Behind the door

by Marishel



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Genderless, No Romance, Post-Undertale Genocide Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 13:49:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9660044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marishel/pseuds/Marishel
Summary: The monster behind the door is called Sans. Sans the skeleton. And they are afraid he won’t come again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in foreign language, well, actually, it's just a translation of my own fanfic which was written long ago. So if there are some mistakes, i'm really sorry.  
> And hey. There's no Frisk/Sans, people! Really. At all. Frisk is genderless here anyways.  
> Just the alternative beginning of the post-genocide route, where Frisk don't remember how they killed everyone.

The taste of a pie is exceedingly familiar. Frisk still for a second before they bite a little more. Toriel asks them if it is good enough and smiles happily when Frisk nod in response. She has made dozens of pies since they first appeared here.  
Frisk eat obediently. First of all, because it’s really delicious. Second of all, because they don’t want to upset Toriel.  
Third of all, this taste on their tongue is torturing from the very first day, but they can’t remember when and where they might have tried anything like this before.

They remember nothing. Frisk hang around the Ruins, peering into the walls thoughtlessly and avoiding encounters; they can’t understand why everything around seems so familiar and regular anyhow. Like they’ve been here long enough to feel themselves at home, or like it’s not the first time Frisk see it all: weird monsters, complicated puzzles and ambiguous writings on the walls. Some of them Frisk even don’t read, knowing what is written there in advance. Or remembering?  
Such knowledge frightens them. Another scary thing is that in peaceful Ruins, where monsters easily let human flee without a fight, they are haunted by loneliness and guilt. It only escalates after the encounter with a slightly wild sad Napstablook, and their attempts to cheer him up. His mood improves, but Frisk somehow feel depressed and confused. They come back to Toriel again in hope to find a shelter in her arms and successfully forget about their contradictions. Toriel is a great comforter until the next pie gets ready in the oven, and then the dark forefeeling of forthcoming goodbye grows deep in Frisk.

They act instinctively. They move forward to the sun, like being driven by some internal program; they ask Toriel how to exit the Ruins, but it results with unnecessary confrontation and another fit of despair. Toriel blocks the way, and there is bitter determination to fight until the end written on her face. Frisk beg her to put it aside, but she is adamant.  
— Don’t go, my child. I’ll take care of you, I promise. There’s nothing good for you behind that door.  
Frisk clench their teeth and shake their head. Need for sun lives inside them, and now they feel it as sharp as they never did. Toriel sighs and says:  
— All right, my child. Then show me that you are strong enough to survive by yourself.  
Frisk don’t know what to do. They feel it again: like they’ve seen it before. _Like they’ve lived it before_. And instead of determined Toriel another picture breaks into their mind: her injured broken silhouette, bemonstering someone.  
Frisk’s scared to death that something like that can be brought to life, so they just give up. Wave of surprise washes over Toriel’s face; she chucks under child’s hair and leads them back home, telling it’s the right choice. Toriel looks pleased, but better — alive, that’s why Frisk chill out a little.  
However, a strange voice inside them repeats to be determined and do not give up. Frisk try not to listen, cause blind movement forward may just lead to Toriel’s death. They are not sure about it, but there’s no way they gonna check. Their heart pounds uneasily, striving to proceed, but Frisk stay anyway.

It becomes kind of torturing. The déjà vu strikes Frisk in the most inappropriate moments: when Toriel says things they’ve heard before. When pun in the diary seems to be thought up by someone else. When pie tastes familiar again. Life in Ruins goes with stagnation and there’s only one way out, but it’s blocked by Toriel’s figure every time, so Frisk come away none the wiser.  
They try several times, again and again, but it always ends up the same. Sometimes they are willing to remain by dodging the attacks, but the awful picture of dying women looms in front of their eyes constantly. The voice in the head is ringing, calling them to break through, and Frisk force it to shut up — for Toriel and for themselves, obviously. They throw down their arms.  
With every time Toriel looks drearier, and Frisk blame themselves and their intention to the sun. They want to promise Toriel to be with her forever, but they’re not sure if they’re able to keep their word.  
By the way, they hate to make promises. This feature seems to be not Frisk’s but borrowed. However, they do not have a chance to find out.

***

  
Then something alters subtly. Frisk notice that when they come to the basement again and Toriel doesn’t block the way.  
— You want to leave so badly, my child, — she says gently, — that’s why I am not to hinder you anymore. Please, understand: there’s nothing beyond the Ruins. You won’t find home, you’ll be all alone and there will be no one to help...  
Frisk keep silent, they are not going to argue. They don’t know if it is true, but they never want to upset Toriel and recall anything that hurts. They think that they did something bad back then, and, maybe, if they leave the Ruins, they will figure out properly.  
It still is terrifying to do.  
— The exit is closed, my child, — Toriel continues. — It’s not destroyed, but you can’t open it. However, you’re so determined to go... I am not stopping you this time. Go, if you want to. Sometimes I do it myself. Maybe it’ll help you to feel a little better.  
She smiles but not happily. Frisk want to say something encouraging, but instead they just walk by into the tunnel, that was closed earlier. Toriel vanishes somewhere behind. It’s a long way — their steps echo from the walls heavily, — but in the end a huge door shows up. Frisk touch it with their palm and suddenly understand: once upon a time this door has opened in front of them.  
They sit next to it, pressing their back to metal. It’s cold, and the wind from below is draughty; Frisk wonder what lies outside. The door’s edges are slightly frosted, so it’s winter for sure, cold and pearly white. Frisk screw up their eyes and imagine it, but happiness turns into fear when bright bloody prints on the snow loom into the view.  
They were killed by someone? _They_ killed someone?  
It’s too much to bear, so Frisk run away as always cause it’s all they can do. The heavy door stays behind and so the creepy tunnel does; they return back home, where Toriel is waiting for them worryingly. They swear themselves not to come to the exit again.

But they come back eventually. Yearning in the heart once becomes insufferable and Frisk sneak downstairs stealthily, quite sure that Toriel wouldn’t follow. It’s not a fight anymore. Frisk don’t want to leave anymore. They just come to the door to sit down next to it, spread their legs onto the cold ground and lean their back on; they come just to think and rest. The wind blows lightly, vines below. Everything outside is calm; everything is calm inside Frisk.  
This fragile world breaks down with a delicate knock.  
— Knock-knock, — a voice outside calls, and somebody’s hand knocks on the door. The sound is strange and empty; Frisk press their head into the shoulders, unsure what to say or what to do. No one, except Toriel, has been gentle to them since that day.  
— Knock-knock, — a voice repeats, — are you there?  
— Who is it? — Frisk dare to ask. It comes out quiet and soft, but monster hears and confuses:  
— It’s not you. Wow. It never happened before.  
They fall silent, not knowing what to answer. Toriel prevented them clearly: humans are not welcome here. Humans are killed here. The voice sounds kindly, but who, if not Frisk, knows, how deceptive voices could be? Frisk force words back and keep silent. Someone behind the door keeps silent for a while too, but then knocks again:  
— Knock-knock. Hey, buddy, ya still there?  
They are silent.  
— Ok, you’re free to hold your peace. I expected to meet someone else, but maybe you’re not against to listen? My friend and I used to talk over puns, so I was gonna to tell her the new ones...  
Frisk is silent. The monster tells a joke which is the similar caliber of what they’ve read in Toriel’s diary, and then laughs at it himself. He waits for Frisk’s reaction, but they only manage to force a smile he can’t see.  
— You didn’t like it, huh? You know, my bro Papyrus claims that he hates my puns, but he always smiles at it. The same story, buddy?  
Frisk stand up, shaking themselves from dust. Papyrus’s name causes a familiar feeling of recognition and the same emotions: guilt, aloofness. Pain. Betrayal? They suppose they’ve done harm to unknown Papyrus somehow, sometime. Maybe to the one who stands behind the door too? He didn’t introduce himself and it relieves Frisk — so they’re not sure enough there’s need to stay away.  
— Hey, gotta go now, buddy, — someone says, knocking at the door as conclusion. — Maybe you’ve gone long ago? Then all my jokes are wasted.  
Frisk can’t take it — now or never! — and knock at the metal almost weightlessly, before they step back fast, leaving the exit behind.  
On the other side of a door the skeleton in blue hoodie leans on, smiling at something.

***

  
They are not telling Toriel about meeting a stranger. She doesn’t ask anything about the door anyway, just muses through the thick glasses. There’s a new book in her hands and a fresh pie in the kitchen. Frisk don’t want to eat or talk; they go to their room, lie on the bed and think about a stranger and his awful puns, which somehow made them smile. Then they try to remember if they ever could smile, and the more they strive the darker confidence grows: no.

  
***

The monster behind the door is called Sans. Sans the skeleton. He mentions it casually, as an introduction to another joke ( _«and these were unSANStioned actions, you get it?»_ ), but Frisk still feel bad because of this knowledge. Like the Papyrus’s, this name is familiar, but the pain it causes is sharper and stronger a million times. Frisk wonder what it can means, but eventually decide just one thing — to never exit the Ruins. Ne-ver. If there’s a world behind the door, where they can hurt even a single monster, then there’s no point in trying to go.  
Sans doesn’t know any of their confusions. They meet rarely, rather by chance than by intent. When he’s gone, Frisk are glad: there’s no need to suffer from invading feeling. They can relax and forget themselves. It’s also good when he’s here: Sans has funny jokes and many different stories, and he never demands for an answer, just talking to himself. Frisk knock — sometimes, when they especially like particular pun, — and Sans knocks back. He tries to involve them into the conversation by asking questions now and then, but Frisk keep silent. It’s not the first time they hide and hold their peace, they don’t want to be revealed. What would Sans say — what would he do — if he knew they are a human? He couldn’t reach them from the outside, of course, but in fact Frisk are afraid of something else.  
They are afraid he won’t come again.

Anyways, Sans always comes back and brings lots of hilarious stories, mostly about his brother Papyrus to who’s name Frisk almost get used to. Sometimes he tells lyrical things ‘bout his brother’s dreams and so on, but never about his own. There’s no place for his personality in all these stories full of fun.  
Frisk are... happy with that? It seems they do not need to know Sans better then he lets; there’s no need to screw with him. Something in his calm voice and peaceful tone reminds them of something dark and stingy they saw before. Imaginary memories tell: he’s not as ordinary as may seem. Not so kind and harmless. They don’t know if it’s bad or good, but prefer to anticipate and stay away.  
However, something like meaning comes to their life with Sans. Now they have a place to go and a thing to do. And the more they come here, leaning on the cold door, the more their heart fills with determination, which, as they thought, was lost forever.  
Frisk still don’t know if going outside is worthwhile and how to make everything right, without hurting anyone. They might ask Sans, but he probably couldn’t think up a joke fitting the situation, so they keep silent.

***

  
It all comes too far when suddenly Sans stops being unserious and interrupts himself half word. Frisk have no idea of how long they’ve been living in the Ruins and if there should be any limits, but the skeleton coughs delicately and asks if they ever will step over the threshold.  
— Don’t get me wrong, pal, — he says. — It’s kinda cool to... deal with you this way. I’m just waiting for someone who should come from where you are, so I’m a little bit worrying.  
Frisk hug their knees. They know Sans is talking about a human and it’s not strange at all: he’s a sentry. He looks for the humans who come through the door to catch them and deliver to his brother. Does it matter if he spends the whole time talking to the mute door? Frisk shake their head, repeating to themselves «Human is not coming, not coming», but do not manage to say it out loud.  
— It’s okay if you don’t wanna come out, — Sans continues. — My friend also doesn’t want to. But she seems to be happy, and I can’t tell this ‘bout ya. So if the Ruins drives you crazy now is the best time to leave. Before _the human_ arrive.  
Frisk slowly breath out cold air. So Sans is waiting for a human. Sans is worrying. They knock shortly, showing they heard his words. A giggle comes from the outside.  
— No pressure, buddy. I, like, don’t wanna you to be hurt. You can expect everything from human, sometimes they are not really... friendly. I saw a lot of them — ok, to be honest, just few, — and they mostly do first, then think. You should probably know that. Know how they like _to kill_  us.  
Frisk wince, hearing trembling in Sans’s voice. Yes, he’s right: they surely know how it can be. They’ve done it before, they were cruel and evil. Frisk got a lot of time to think, tons of time to remember, so eventually they succeeded to solve a puzzle, even if not fully. Back then they’ve done awful things. They can’t understand how it could happen and why they returned to the beginning, they just don’t remember, but...  
But they are not to go through this hell again.  
— Well, maybe I overstated a little. Not everyone loves to kill, — Sans sounds more relaxed. — Sometimes they just didn’t know what to do. They simply wished to come back to the Surface, I can understand it. But they were losing this at some moment. They were crossing the border. And I’m sorry for missing it every time it happened.  
He chuckles bitterly and knocks at the door, asking silently if he’s heard. Frisk knock in response.  
— As I was saying... Buddy, there was always an irony element. Humans hardly get my advices; however, I can’t realize why: I always tried to speak clearly. I was kind with them. Even when they’ve killed someone precious to me, I just stepped behind and waited... what I’ve been waiting for? For them changing? But it was stupid. I’ve decided: if the human come over, I’ll not pass them. They’d be dead where they stand.  
Frisk wipe their tears, realizing they’re crying. Not because of sadness but relief. Sans doesn’t have to kill — they just won’t ever exit the Ruins. And even if they lose their mind and get away, no one will suffer anymore. Frisk will let him kill them, and it would be right, would be honest and...  
— But I’m not sure I can do that, — Sans speaks quietly and they hear a rattling sound when he slips down, still leaning on the door. — Maybe I’m too lazy? Or maybe I just like humans this much. You know what’s the funniest, buddy? They could’ve easily released our pain. They could’ve made all the monsters happy. They could’ve... damn it, they just could’ve been kind. That’s all.  
Frisk sob and knock at the door convulsively, like trying to open it. They want Sans to know: no one will be hurt again. The human will not make harm to anyone. But all they can do is scratching their knuckles and swallow tears quietly in hope that Sans would never find out to whom he was opening his soul in that soundless snowy forest.  
— You ok, buddy? — his alarmed voice asks. — What happened? Did I upset you or what?  
They lean on the door leaf, calming down, and knock twice. «No». This is their password Sans has thought up many days before.  
— So it is, huh, — he murmurs in confusion. — Everything all right then?  
Once. «Yes».  
— Ok then. I just want you to be careful there, in the Ruins. Promise?  
«Yes».  
Frisk hear Sans stands up, shaking his pants from snow. They can almost imagine it.  
— Oh, and the last thing, — he remembers. — If you’d eventually meet the human... well, by accident... if they would be scared and confused, I wanna ask you a favor: try to comfort them. Tell them a joke. Make them smile. If you’re lucky enough they might be not as bad as the others. Deal, buddy?  
«Yes»  
— Great. See ya.  
They hear his fading steps. Frisk stand still for a while and breath heavily, playing Sans’s monologue over and over. They hate to made promises, but they did one. They owe him now. They think about it on a way home, think when going to sleep. And the next day, when they wake up in a soft warm bed they didn’t deserve, Frisk still think of it.

***

  
— What’s wrong, dear? You look exhausted.  
Frick frowns, trying to hold everything inside, but they do not succeed. They stay in front of Toriel who’s reading near the fireplace, and their fists are clenched strongly, their eyes are dropped to the floor. They’re ashamed to say it again because her face turns miserable inevitably, but they have to.  
Although they’ve given themselves a word to stay here forever — for those who are behind the door, — there’s no way to live like that anymore.  
— Exit the Ruins.  
Toriel is sad again and it hurts Frisk, but they have to endure. For the future, for themselves. For Sans.  
Toriel sighs:  
— You do understand that nothing has changed? I’m not letting you go ‘till you prove me your strength.  
— I’ll do. — Frisk say, and determination is ringing in their voice. They’ve been thinking of it for a long time, they’ve been remembering stranger’s words full of pain and they’ve understood a lot. They can’t let themselves to stand aside anymore.  
For God sake, they have already met the human. They meet him every day just looking at the mirror. And maybe Sans was right — comforting him is worthwhile.  
Toriel puts off the book, and they go to the basement in silent, reaching a well-known door. Frisk haven’t been here since then, because they were afraid. Sans probably was knocking, but there was no one to answer. Nobody came. Frisk decide to apologize for it when they’ll leave the Ruins and stop worrying, throwing thoughts about Sans out. Toriel stands in front of them, ready to fight; they look at her sullenly and she asks cautiously:  
— What is it, my child? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.  
And then she attacks.

  
They feel strange confidence that it’ll work this time. Toriel fights at half strength, giving them time to fight back, but Frisk stand still, clenching their fists and looking directly. They’ve decided to cause no pain to anyone long ago. It took some time but now they understand clearly what to do.  
They have to be kind.  
Toriel looks confused and upset when magic leaves skin-deep cuts on them. Frisk still stand although it’s painful and hard, because they feel: the end’s near. And no matter what end exactly. Would they be killed or saved, it’s alright. Monsters will be happy anyway. Frisk is not in terror of their life no more.  
Toriel is merciful, she can’t be all serious; when Frisk’s legs seem to gave way under, she stops attacking and asks quietly:  
— What are you doing, child? Fight me or run away.  
They shake their head and spread their arms, stepping forward to her. They want to hug her and say it’s gonna be alright, that no one behind the door will hurt them, but Frisk are too exhausted. They can’t reach, and Toriel catches their tiny body, pressing it to her chest and whispering apologies.  
Frisk close their eye, understanding with relief: they did it.

***

  
When their wounds are healed, Toriel caresses their cheek and kisses them on the forehead. She gives them a piece of pie farewell and looks at them leaving. She does not block the way any longer.  
Frisk promise her to come back, but she just smiles and asks them to be careful.

  
They go to the door by themselves. The steps echo from the cell and break into pieces; Frisk reach the familiar door and press their palm to the cold metal, like trying to caress it. Everything outside is calm and they do not knock before they push a door leafs and shut up their eye tightly because of the bright light.  
Through the eyelashes they see a distant blue spot taking its way to the Ruins, and this view make Frisk really happy.  
They are not afraid to hurt somebody anymore. They are determined again.


End file.
